THINGS I OVERHEAR AT WORK

  1. "I'm just concerned that college is turning him into a liberal."
    About her son, who had come back from his freshman year with some actual opinions.
  2. "You know, the problem is that our CEO is a woman. She's doing this because she thinks she has to prove herself."
    He didn't like the new company-wide education initiative.
  3. "What's it called? The Princess Bride? Uh, no, I haven't. I only had boys, you know, so doesn't sound like a movie that would have gone over well at my house."
  4. "The problem is that schools can't spank the kids anymore. Everyone freaks out. But sometimes kids need whipped, you know? How else will they learn?"
  5. "Did you know there are more gays in this county than any other county in the state?"
    This is false, and was irrelevant to our business meeting.
  6. "They don't want to care cancer because there's so much money in treating it. That's the truth."
  7. "You can't tell me they can't cure AIDS. AIDS is just a virus. They kill viruses all the time. So why can't they kill this one?"
    Same conversation as the above cancer conspiracy.