THE LISA FRANK THEORIES!

  1. She knew a guy who knew a guy who was on the grassy knoll when JFK was shot. Also, she murdered Martin Luther King Jr.
  2. Every drawing of a puppy is really a penis.
  3. Lisa Frank owns all hot dogs and has a lobbying committee forcing the hot dog industry to bring back the Frank terminology.
  4. Lisa Frank is single-handedly responsible for the housing crisis.
  5. She knew where Whitey Bulger was, like, 20 years ago.
  6. Lisa Frank has glitter for blood and sees the world in a way only understood by the color neon.
  7. It's actually Liza Frank and she is just super polite.
  8. You've heard of Osama Bin Laden? She fucked him.
  9. Lisa Frank