DRIVEL

No one ever really means any of these:
  1. Convince me!
    Nothing you could possibly say would convince me of anything.
  2. You have the right to your opinion
    Your opinion sucks You have the right to remain silent.
  3. With all due respect
    Not only do I not respect you, I detest you.
  4. Do you really mean that?
    Of course you do! You're an idiot.
  5. This may hurt a bit
    Get ready. This is going to fucking hurt
  6. In all honesty...
    Look out! My nose is about to start growing,
  7. Try to see where I'm coming from.
    Just nod and agree with me blindly.
  8. We're all friends here
    But you better not turn your back on me
  9. Hey, but who's counting?
    I believe that was the 17th time you did that
  10. Far be it for me to interfere...
    You've screwed this up so badly, I can't NOT interfere.
    Suggested by   @dball
  11. Can I get a raincheck?
    How many rain checks do I get until you realize I'm full of shit?
  12. No offense but...
    Always going to be offensive
    Suggested by   @GoGoGorosh