ETERNAL HELL AWAITS
Today we ventured into Fort Myers FL. We encountered religious fanatics who warned us that eternal hell awaits if we are guilty of any of the following: (I hope List App works down there)
- •DrunkardsCmon, eternal hell for a little nip? Seems excessive.
- •FornicatorsWhat exactly constitutes fornication? Is there a semantical way around this one?
- •JealousGive me a break. This is just too picky. Even Mother Theresa was jealous, right?
- •UnforgivingNo grudges allowed. We're all fucked.
- •PridefulSee above
- •HomosexualsDon't they have a "don't ask don't tell" policy in the nether world?
- •Porn freaksIf you want to get to heaven, clear your browsing history NOW!
- •Potty mouthsDid I say "fucked" above? Now I'm double fucked.
- •Pot smokersIs there a statute of limitations for pot smokers? And how about medical marijuana?
- •AbortionistsDoes this refer to anyone whose had an abortion or only to doctors who perform them? It's a moot point. I think we know where we are headed.