Abuse Isn't Always Physical

  1. trigger warning: abuse, self-harm, suicide
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  4. I see this much too often, and I've been unfortunate enough to experience it.
  5. When people think of an abusive relationship, they tend to think of battered women.
  6. Physical abuse is problematic and scary, and it needs to be talked about.
  7. But, there needs to be more awareness of other forms of abuse, such as emotional and psychological abuse.
  8. I didn't really realize it up until a few months ago, but I've been in emotionally abusive relationships.
  9. The first experience I had with this was when I was thirteen.
  10. I had been dating a boy for about a month when he broke up with me.
  11. When I asked why, he refused to talk to me.
  12. A few weeks later, he apologized and asked if we could be back together.
  13. I told him no, and he proceeded to yell at me and call me a whore, bitch, selfish, etc.
  14. A few days later, he found me at school and showed me the cuts on his arms.
  15. He told me "You did this."
  16. I cried. A lot. We worked on being friends for awhile after that.
  17. We would talk. He would say something shitty. We would stop. He would tell me I'm the reason he is depressed and cuts and wants to kill himself. I would feel bad, forgive him, and this cycle continued for a few years.
  18. He eventually stopped talking to me.
  19. When I was 17, I had my second experience with this.
  20. I dated another boy.
  21. The relationship was good.
  22. I broke up with him.
  23. We fought at first, but we eventually were able to be civil to each other.
  24. Then he began having issues at home.
  25. He became very depressed and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.
  26. He attempted suicide and went inpatient for awhile.
  27. He told me he did it because of me.
  28. I tried being his friend for awhile, and would hang out with him.
  29. But, the few times I would hang out with him, it would end in him having a panic attack, in which he would start hitting himself and I would have to hold him down to keep him from hurting himself. He would start talking about how us breaking up caused this and how he is worthless, etc.,etc.
  30. I haven't talked to him in a few months now.
  31. When dealing with the aftermath of those two relationships, I became very depressed and would self-harm. A lot.
  32. I'm better now.
  33. I am sharing these stories because I want people to realize that abuse isn't always physical.
  34. If I knew exactly what I was experiencing, I think I would have been better able to handle it.
  35. I would've cut those relationships off sooner.
  36. I would've asked an adult for help, not only for me, but for the other person as well.
  37. Here are a few sources I found that may help you to determine if you are experiencing abuse.
  38. However, I think a good indicator is if you feel uncomfortable with something your partner is doing.
  39. Are they intentionally embarrassing you, making jokes at your expense?
  40. Are they being manipulative, telling you they will hurt you or themselves if you leave them?
  41. Is your partner controlling who you talk to, keeping you socially confined?
  42. I love you all and you all deserve to be treated well.
  43. No one deserves any form of abuse, whether it is physical, emotional, or psychological.