1. wallow in my own self-pity
  2. make clothes optional
  3. eat all of the food and leave none for y'all
  4. turn on reruns of bobs burgers and hide the remote
  5. blast dank classical music
  6. Hang out with your cat the whole time
    Suggested by @lizabeth
  7. not invite anyone
    Suggested by @smallthings
  8. watch Netflix and not open the door for the guests even though they can hear me :)
    Suggested by @fm
  9. Poop wildly in a strange toilet, and eat soup.
    Suggested by @eriknmichaelssrn
  10. play "Aaron's Party (Come Get It)" on repeat
    Suggested by @rebeccamaepeter