1. How do you make a band stand?
    Hide all the chairs.
  2. What is yellow and white and goes down a train track at 100 mph?
    A conductor's egg sandwich.
  3. Why do birds fly south in the winter?
    Because they can't afford to take the train.
  4. Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?
    Because he wanted to see how long he slept.
  5. What did the Martian say to the gas pump?
    "Take your finger out of your ear when I'm talking to you."