1. My uncle is drinking fireball straight from the bottle.
  2. My other uncle is eating straight up whipped cream.
  3. My other other uncle is passed tf out on the couch.
  4. My cousin's boyfriend is talking about Picasso.
  5. My mom is talking about her dream man, who she calls a unicorn.
    50 year old Hispanic firefighter, in case you were wondering.
  6. My aunt is throwing bottle caps at the rest of my family.
  7. And I'm just sitting here, eating chips and playing Covet.
  8. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯