I worked at a sex-positive sex store, and these are my recommendations.
  1. We Vibe Touch
    This little baby is my favorite toy. It's small, and so you can use it on top or when you're being done from behind. People with clitorises need clitoral stimulation 95% of the time to orgasm. It has a bunch of settings, but my fav is that it has a steady vibration setting, in like 4 intensities. 💯👌🏻
  2. Sliquid Satin
    My favorite water based lube. This company has minimal ingredients and are careful about what they put in. Glycerine and paraben free. Vegan friendly and gluten free if that plays into what goes in your vag. This lube has aloe and vitamin e in it, and just feels much slippier than your Pink Water/Gun Oil upmarket stuff.
  3. Gun Oil Silicone
    Not bad for situations when you need long lasting power (i.e. Anal). Though, if you're using a toy that isn't elastomer then you probably want to be careful with silicone lube. Silicone toys 🚫 silicone lube. It makes them all sticky and gross forever.
  4. Sliquid Sassy
    A thicker water based lube, really cushy. Good for anal as well, and safe for silicone toys. Has carrageenan in it, which gives it extra plush.
  5. Hitachi Magic Wand
    It has two settings: super strong and jet plane engine. But, it's craaaazy amazing. Recommend using thin fabric between you and it the first few times (or, always, if you believe the Internet.) Also, never use it on your face when you have congested sinuses, even though that lady on Amazon reviews swears by it. But that's a different story.
  6. Fuze makes nice little anal plugs and stuff. They're black, simple, sterilizable.
  7. A dildo is a dildo is a dildo.
    Just go with silicone, high quality, and don't overestimate the size you want. Common mistake.
  8. Love bumpers and other sex pillows.
    I'm sure they are amazing, we sold lots of them. If I was swimming in money if probably try it. Let me know how it goes.
  9. Joque harness from Spareparts
    This is the one I would get, probably, if I was looking for another strap on harness. It's super adjustable, sits on your hips (doesn't cut in where you don't want it to), allows the dildo to sit on your pubic bone right above your clit (which is ideal), and keeps your butt free. Stretchy comfy fabric, easy to wash, has a pouch for a bullet vibrator.
  10. Sasha harness from Spareparts
    This is the one I have. It's VERY pretty, which is why I bought it. Has the option of attaching stockings with garters. You can wear it more boy-shorts-y or ruched. Because I'm bigger, though, it's not the most comfy, and it gives me really intense muffin top. So, it's not my favorite.
  11. Rodeoh harnesses come in briefs or in boxer breifs 😍
  12. Lelo toys are really popular
    You need to consider that they have a medical grade silicone outer layer, but that the inside core is plastic. As such, they are very firm. Great for people who like firm internal stimulation/g-spot stimulation. Not so great if you prefer more subtle/flexible internal stimulation.
  13. I would probably go with Fun Factory for an internal vibe.
    They are bendy silicone, but still firm. More comfortable, I feel, but still realistic. They have a nice little loop at the bottom which can be useful if someone else is holding it. German made = high quality. Also, pricy. They have something like a 50 year warrantee though.
  14. We Vibe couples vibe
    Cool idea. You wear it during sex, it vibrates inside and on your clit. Tons of middle aged couples bought these. I own two. The early versions SUCK. The silicone is sticky, the settings are not very strong/easy to change, and it didn't fit well at all. The newest version is snazzy because it has silky silicone, and you can control it with your smartphone, which makes it a fun idea to use in a long distance relationship. I think it just doesn't work with my anatomy, so I don't like it. YMMV.
  15. Kimono condoms
    Super thin, and my absolute favorite before I had an IUD and was having exclusive one-partner sex where we were both tested for STIs. Safe sex is sexy, people.
  16. She Comes First by Ian Kerner
    Everyone who has sex with people who have vaginas/clits should read this.
  17. Love in the Time of Colic by Heidi Raykeil and Ian Kerner
    Such a great reference for people who have had kids and are feeling confused or down about their sex lives/sexualities. Well written, educational, funny, great tips. Would recommend to any of my clients.
  18. Sex for One by Betty Dodson
    So great for people with vaginas who have never orgasmed or feel like masturbation has been taboo. It's a really emotional subject to open up to people about, and I was so glad I had this book to offer people when they were crying and pouring their hearts out to me ❤️
  19. For porn, check out the Feminist Porn Awards site for rad, hot, feminist porn ideas ✊🏻
  20. Also recommended for other sex information: Oh Joy, Sex Toy by Erika Moen
    She's a perfect, hilarious, talented, sex and body positive superstar 💛 http://www.erikamoen.com/comics/oh-joy-sex-toy/