I'M WATCHING A HORROR MOVIE CALLED KRAMPUS?
I'm usually kind-of an admitted movie snob (though I do like old action movies and terrible chick-flicks), and never watch cringe-worthy horror movies. It's an adventure! Spoilers ahead!
- •It's about evil Santa?
- •My roommate preordered it?Like actually PREordered it?
- •But it has Toni Colette in it, so it can't be all bad. Right?"You're terrible Muriel"
- •Also, Adam Scott!
- •So far there has been: a creepy creature come out of a music jack-in-the-box to kill someone.
- •A fat kid lured into the fireplace to be pulled up by a chain by a gingerbread man?Of course it's always the fat kid that gets lured away. Fatphobia is everywhere y'all!
- •A very lovely animated storyline about the German grandma's history with Krampus.
- •Cackling snowmen.
- •To be continued...I.e. Updated, if anything else remotely interesting happens.
- •Ok, shortly after I published it there came evil gingerbread men, an evil clown, an evil teddy bear, and what I presume was Krampus.
- •Here are some shitty photos of the television:
- •Toni Colette being attacked by the evil clown/Krampus thing.
- •Evil gingerbread men.
- •I don't even know what's happening. Why am I watching this?
- •Okay, there was just a noise outside the house and the German Oma grimly said: "Elves".
- •"This is some fairytale horseshit."
- •Ok, this is getting better now.