I'm usually kind-of an admitted movie snob (though I do like old action movies and terrible chick-flicks), and never watch cringe-worthy horror movies. It's an adventure! Spoilers ahead!
  1. It's about evil Santa?
  2. My roommate preordered it?
    Like actually PREordered it?
  3. But it has Toni Colette in it, so it can't be all bad. Right?
    "You're terrible Muriel"
  4. Also, Adam Scott!
  5. So far there has been: a creepy creature come out of a music jack-in-the-box to kill someone.
  6. A fat kid lured into the fireplace to be pulled up by a chain by a gingerbread man?
    Of course it's always the fat kid that gets lured away. Fatphobia is everywhere y'all!
  7. A very lovely animated storyline about the German grandma's history with Krampus.
  8. Cackling snowmen.
  9. To be continued...
    I.e. Updated, if anything else remotely interesting happens.
  10. Ok, shortly after I published it there came evil gingerbread men, an evil clown, an evil teddy bear, and what I presume was Krampus.
  11. Here are some shitty photos of the television:
  12. Static
  13. Toni Colette being attacked by the evil clown/Krampus thing.
  14. Evil gingerbread men.
  15. I don't even know what's happening. Why am I watching this?
  16. Okay, there was just a noise outside the house and the German Oma grimly said: "Elves".
  17. "This is some fairytale horseshit."
  18. Ok, this is getting better now.