RIDICULOUS UTTERANCES MADE BY MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY, FOR REAL

I swear, most of them made total sense at the time.
  1. There will be no more naked pictures tonight. Get back in the house.
  2. Eye mites, ever heard of 'em?
  3. You went to San Antonio? Did you see the Liberty Bell?
  4. I need to call 1-800-Contacts but I don't know the number.
  5. I dropped my ice cream cone in the back seat and now I can't find it.
  6. $7.50 for 14 mini corn dogs? That's like $1.80 per corn dog. Highway robbery!
  7. Of all the Dads in the world, I got one with the same last name as me!
  8. (Observing meat counter in horror) Chickens do so much for us and this is how we repay them?
  9. My parents are insane dictators.