In which I was sort of fired from my job today. WARNING: This is mostly sad and not a fun read, so maybe you want to skip this one?
  1. Some background.
    My day job at present is as an accounting assistant at Collective Digital Studio, a place that buys YouTube channels and monetizes them through ad sales, product integration, branded content production, etc. I have been working here for almost a year and a half. Occasionally I have gotten writing or production work elsewhere, but not nearly enough to pay the bills. So I've been here.
  2. An emotional breakdown is never a good thing.
    About a month ago, I became overwhelmed. Incredibly overwhelmed. With work, with my writing, with my 27th birthday coming up - I couldn't think straight. My boss called me into his office, and I started crying. I couldn't talk. The only thing I could manage to say was, "I'm unhappy." He said he understood. He would try to get me a job in production. I didn't need to be in a position that made me feel this way. He was going to help me.
  3. I interviewed for a writing job at another company last week. I would be getting paid to make lists.
    Out of over 300 applicants, I made it to the final 8. I didn't get the job. It's unfortunate that the one thing that makes me the most qualified is the one thing I can't talk about. Dumb secret app (not really, please stay a secret forever, I love you).
  4. Just checking in.
    I e-mailed my boss yesterday to see if he had heard of any openings in production since our talk. He said to come by his office in the morning and we would discuss it.
  5. "If you wanted to be an accountant, I would promote you."
    I met with my boss today. He said there were no openings in production. He also said that someone who was trained in accounting was going to take over my position starting tomorrow. "How long do you think it will take you to get a writing job? What sort of timeline should we put on this? Thirty days?" After asking for clarification, he made it perfectly clear: In thirty days, I will no longer be working with the company. "Let me know if there is anything I can do to help."
  6. Are you firing me?
    "Oh I wouldn't put it like that. I just want you to be able to do what you want to do." I was being fired so I could take a hypothetical dream job no one was offering me. Right.
  7. Onward.
    I will no doubt find something, somewhere. It may not be a writing job or a production job. But it will be something. I'm capable of great things, and I was never going to achieve greatness in that office. So maybe this is a blessing. If this works out in my favor, I no doubt will see it that way. But tonight, there's a pit in my stomach the size of next month's rent check. And for a while - hopefully not too long - that's just the way it's going to be.