Reading Aziz's book has me reflecting back on my past relationships. By my count, I've had five. This is how they ended.
  1. Phone Call (2006)
    She had been distant. I called her to ask what was wrong. She told me she wanted to break up. It was Christmas Day.
  2. Facebook Message (2007)
    I would not count this as a serious romantic relationship today, but at the time, she was only the second girlfriend I'd had, and it was a big deal. After a couple days of her not answering my phone calls, she sent me a long Facebook message breaking things off. I had just gotten home from seeing a double feature of "Sweeney Todd" and "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story." A few days before Christmas.
  3. Face-to-Face (2009)
    Lying in bed after a fight. We broke it off mutually. We slept and she left in the morning. It was the Fourth of July.
  4. Face-to-Face (2010)
    I moved to California. We broke up when I said goodbye. A hug and a kiss, and a lot of crying. It was May 29, which is not a particularly special day at all.
  5. Phone Call (2013)
    She and I fought constantly, and one day she stopped talking to me altogether. A week went past, and I realized how relaxing it was not to fight. I called her and broke up with her. It was the Friday before Halloween.