MY SEX MOVES
Sometimes I have sex.
- •"Are you okay?"Every one of my sex seshes begins with a variation of this question. Because sometimes she makes a face and I don't want to hurt her, you know?
- •Calling body parts "areas."When I get uncomfortable, I'll refer to the "vaginal area" and wave my hand in that direction to further illustrate my point. See also "penile area."
- •Pretending like I enjoy blow jobs.Okay. Here's the thing. I DO enjoy blow jobs. But only if I know that's the end of the line, sexually speaking. Blow jobs-as-foreplay bring on a lot of anxiety for me. If she's down there too long, I'll finish too soon, but if I end it too soon, she'll take it personally and think she was doing a bad job (NOTE: This may have just been my ex, who did this EVERY TIME). Do other people have this problem?
- •Stopping sex stuff to have a conversation then starting back up again.I love a good pause and chat.
- •Doing a little dance on my way to the bathroom post-sex.I know my butt is on full display and butts are silly so if I dance maybe they won't see how silly my butt is.
- •Making lists to ensure no one on this app will ever have sex with me.Not that this was ever an issue, but it's for sure not happening now.