Sometimes I have sex.
  1. "Are you okay?"
    Every one of my sex seshes begins with a variation of this question. Because sometimes she makes a face and I don't want to hurt her, you know?
  2. Calling body parts "areas."
    When I get uncomfortable, I'll refer to the "vaginal area" and wave my hand in that direction to further illustrate my point. See also "penile area."
  3. Pretending like I enjoy blow jobs.
    Okay. Here's the thing. I DO enjoy blow jobs. But only if I know that's the end of the line, sexually speaking. Blow jobs-as-foreplay bring on a lot of anxiety for me. If she's down there too long, I'll finish too soon, but if I end it too soon, she'll take it personally and think she was doing a bad job (NOTE: This may have just been my ex, who did this EVERY TIME). Do other people have this problem?
  4. Stopping sex stuff to have a conversation then starting back up again.
    I love a good pause and chat.
  5. Doing a little dance on my way to the bathroom post-sex.
    I know my butt is on full display and butts are silly so if I dance maybe they won't see how silly my butt is.
  6. Making lists to ensure no one on this app will ever have sex with me.
    Not that this was ever an issue, but it's for sure not happening now.