NEVER HAVE I EVER

  1. Gone skydiving
    I hate heights. Hate 'em.
  2. Had a threesome
    I've been propositioned. Twice. Once by strangers online (pass) and once by a comedian at a UCB party (we were all too awkward to see it through, because comedians).
  3. Eaten an entire pickle
    Pickles are my least favorite food. If I ever eat one, it's by mistake, and only for one bite that I immediately spit out.
  4. Called my dad just to chat
    Ooooh a sad one!
  5. Read Ayn Rand
    I waited until college to try, and by then I was old enough to see through the bullshit.
  6. Disliked a Pixar movie
    Both "Cars" movies have their charms. Controversially(?), my least favorite is "Brave" (it's not bad, but the story is a mess).
  7. Gone to "Big Church" by choice
    As a kid, my mom would take me to Sunday School, and then after that was "Big Church," the service for adults. One of my greatest joys as an adult visiting my family is sleeping in on Sundays, because I am an adult, and you can't tell me what to do, MOM.
  8. Made out with a guy (not as a bit)
    I've made out with plenty of guys - on stage, at parties, in bars - but it's never been sincere. It's never been sexual. There was always an audience. I'm certainly not opposed to kissing a man, in theory. I've just never felt compelled to.
  9. Not corrected someone for calling a sketch a "skit"
    It's a sketch, goddammit.