OBSERVATIONS WHILE WATCHING "GREASE" FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE CHILDHOOD

This was probably my favorite movie when I was about 10 years old. I watched it CONSTANTLY. And then I stopped. Today I watched it again. Here are my findings.
  1. This movie expects us to be invested in Danny and Sandy because we see them frolicking on the beach in a quick montage.
    NOTE: Until the *finale*, this is the only time we will see these two in a happy place. More on this later.
  2. "Grease" is a disco song and it doesn't belong in a movie about the '50s. It DOES, however, manage to make a song about grease work more than any song about grease should.
    The trick here is adding "...is the word." Try it with anything, it works! "Cola is the word." "Trout is the word." "Moist is the word." Okay, maybe not "moist."
  3. This animated sequence is cute. With ONE NOTABLE EXCEPTION.
    AAAAAHHHHHH
  4. When I was a kid, I thought the line was "Nobody's tits are bigger than her nets." I still thought that today. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
    I had to turn on subtitles. It's "bigger than Annette's." See also: "Would you pull that crap with a net [Annette]?"
  5. Everyone in this movie is at least 30.
    Stockard Channing was 33 and playing a high school senior. She's also the best thing about the movie.
  6. "Did she put up a fight?" OH COOL KENICKIE IS SINGIN' 'BOUT RAPE.
    I get the Greasers are bad boy types, but come on, this is gross. Kids sing this song.
  7. The celebrity stunt casting is SO WEIRD.
    Sid Caesar and Eve Arden, what are you doing here?? The movie just stops multiple times to give them little bits to do. Was this a ploy to bring in adults to see this musical about teen fuckin'?
  8. How do we justify casting Olivia Newton-John? "I thought you were going back to Australia?" "We had a change of plans!"
    THEY CHANGED THEIR PLANS TO MOVE TO AUSTRALIA.
  9. ALTMAN. ESQUE.
    Yup, there's a definite Altman influence in some of the non-musical scenes. Lots of characters talking over each other, a leisurely pace, wide shots that sit for a while. It's not necessarily GOOD, but it dates the movie in a way I wouldn't have noticed as a kid.
  10. "Hopelessly Devoted to You" is the worst song in the movie.
    This isn't true. It's actually the worst song FOR the movie, followed closely by "Grease." This '70s country-pop ballad stops the movie in its tracks, and it doesn't tell us anything we don't already know.
  11. Their prom is on television.
    THEIR PROM. IS ON TELEVISION.
  12. Here's the structure of "Grease": Danny is a dick to Sandy, Danny apologizes to Sandy, Sandy forgives him instantly, then repeat.
    Ninety percent of this romance is spent with these two sulking separately because Danny is an asshole.
  13. Danny sexually assaults Sandy at the drive-in. This is our hero.
    And then he sings a song about HOW SANDY HURT HIM.
  14. Someone made a list labeled "'50s STUFF" and that's how "Grease" happened.
    "Well, I guess we need a drag race, it's on the list!"
  15. Didi Conn is a BABE.
    Also, Frenchy is dope.