PEOPLE WHO WOULD TOTALLY DATE ME

Under the right circumstances.
  1. Emma Stone
    We sigh and agree that the Woody Allen stuff is "problematic" and laugh about how Easy A was just a really good time.
  2. Taylor Swift
    You're just so busy right now, I get it.
  3. Tatiana Maslany
    We are always trying to Parent Trap each other with our respective clones, it's cute.
  4. Diane Lane
    We think the age gap just makes us stronger.
  5. Natalie Wood circa "Sex and the Single Girl"
    We both have really good energies and she likes my progressive 2015 points of view.
  6. That comedy gal I met at the Fourth of July party
    You're currently dating a writer of some note and it's just not a good time, but otherwise, we are perfect for each other.
  7. Joey Potter
    We've known each other a long time, but the Creek is so far away. Oh Joey, you know where you can always find me - On My Own.
  8. [If you know anyone who would totally date me, please don't hesitate to suggest them. I'm on the market, guys.]