REGRETS I THINK ABOUT CONSTANTLY

  1. The time I accidentally called my friend "Kate Hudson" instead of "Kate Huffman" and tried to cover by saying she should change her name to "Kate Hudson."
  2. The time I made a joke at a writers' meeting and everyone laughed hysterically and it didn't occur to me until later that I was quoting Spaceballs.
    This happened Monday but it continues to haunt me.
  3. The time I went out for coffee with a woman and didn't pay because I "didn't want to seem presumptuous."
  4. The time I tweeted a female internet-friend something I meant as a joke but came off as a come-on, and she unfollowed me instantly.
    Genuinely bummed about this one, because it's something I would never intentionally do.
  5. Everything I said or did ages 13 - 26.