TIMES I WAS A TERRIBLE DATE

Many of these happened a long time ago. A few happened more recently than I'd care to admit. They all make me look like a terrible person. I'm sorry.
  1. I picked the girl up and immediately had to get gas because my car was on empty. She told me at the end of the night she could tell I wasn't making much of an effort. She was right.
  2. I argued against the existence of white male privilege.
    I try to have at least a modicum of patience with younger white men when they're being asshats about this topic. More often than not they are clueless and in denial rather than outright racist/misogynistic. Because that was me. About a year and a half ago. Being a real dumdum.
  3. On the date following that disaster, I reiterated my points to a different woman - this time A PERSON OF COLOR - because clearly *I* wasn't the person in the wrong!
    This poor woman stuck around.
  4. I defended incest from a legality standpoint, because what two consenting adults do is none of our business. This was less than five minutes into the date.
    This was also the last date I've been on. It was about three months ago.
  5. I made my date buy her own coffee because I didn't want to see "presumptuous" in assuming we were, in fact, on a date.
    I went through a rough patch when I dated in L.A. for the first time. I was young, lacked confidence, knew nobody. I was SO BAD AT IT.
  6. I refused to set up a double date with a woman on Tinder who didn't feel comfortable meeting with me for the first time alone. So I went on an awkward date with her and her friend.
    I sort of stand by this one? I had no problem meeting her and her friend - being a woman is terrifying, I wouldn't want to date strange men, no way - but I don't bring my real friends into online dating relationships (unless they become actual relationships or friendships). That's a boundary I stick to. But still, she seemed a little upset I wouldn't bring a date for her friend.
  7. I intentionally brought my current girlfriend to a movie I knew my ex would be at because I thought it would be funny. She cried through half the movie, then we left and fought in the parking lot.
    I WAS NINETEEN. Lisa, I hope you eventually caught the rest of "No Country for Old Men," because it's very good.