WHY DO I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU?
A guide for the hypothetical recipient of my emotions.
- •You don't need a partner to be happy. You don't need me.Independence is sexy. When you manage to be a Complete Human Being all on your own, that makes me want to be with you. Because I don't need you either. But I want you around anyway. Interestingly, this has caused me to have crushes on several women who turned out to be lesbians. Because sometimes women neither need a man nor want one. Ever.
- •You're outspoken about women's issues.You wrote a blog post about rape culture and handled the "not all men" comments with patience and grace? You're awesome. I want to stand behind you and have your back while you fight to make the world better.
- •You're funnier than I am.This one's pretty trite, but fuck it. Funny women are amazing. If you're a woman who makes me laugh, I can't get enough of you. Lady-driven comedy is my favorite genre. In all things. For all time. And I want as much of it in my life as possible.
- •You find it endearing that I listened to the same One Direction song on repeat as I made this list."Night Changes," and it's fucking great.
- •You want to marathon all of the "Planet of the Apes" series and help me cook corresponding dishes with each film.This is just something I really want to do. Date me?