HYPOTHETICAL REASONS WHY MY EXPERIMENTS DONT WORK

I am a scientist by day actually or atleast i am supposed to be one
  1. My advisor secretly doesn't really want me to succeed so he keeps giving me the toughest stuff
  2. The equipments have a pact and they all hate me
  3. I am genetically predisposed to connecting the wrong wires in my circuit
  4. I will always remember something I forgot to do after i have painstakingly taken experimental data for days.
  5. The data plots dont line up and almost never follow a theory-DARN U DATA WHY MUST I HAVE TO CREATE MY OWN THEORIES WHY CANT YOU WORK WITHIN THE REALMS OF EXISTING SCIENCE
  6. The bad data will never point to the discovery of a new phenomenon so it would choose to be crap.
  7. My advisor will never have the money for newer better equipments. It worked ten years ago no reason it shouldn't now.