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  1. β€’
    Who ate all the bars
    Those bars were FANCY.
  2. β€’
    The exact lyrics to Shakira songs
  3. β€’
    Nico's driving
    Like a bat out of hell
3 more...
Collected after a semester of milking myself 2πŸ„/day
  1. β€’
    Venmo
    Is this some kind of product placement?
  2. β€’
    Lilo
    I have never seen this movie. It's possible my breast pump, like everything else, is a Disney product.
  3. β€’
    Heave-ho
    I am really excited to throw it out of my office at the end of the semester.
4 more...
  1. β€’
    A Christmas Wish at Westroads Mall
    They don't have anything in a women's medium.
  2. β€’
    The Container Store
    Made in China. When we come to Palo Alto, LaRue will throw it away.
  3. β€’
    The Cracker Barrel gift shop
    The candles smell like fire hazard. Also, Nico prefers real fur.
  4. β€’
    Whole Foods
    He has enough underwear.
Rated on a scale of 1-3 πŸ’©
  1. β€’
    Bedroom Chair Shit Show
    No joke: the bottom of this pile is my graduation robe. From MAY. πŸ’©πŸ’©
  2. β€’
    Bathroom Shit Show
    I have a ton of storage, I never wear makeup, and I take 30 seconds to get ready. Why is there a pile of shit here? πŸ’©
  3. β€’
    Dinette Table Shit Show
    Because we never actually eat at this table, we leave stuff here that's not quite worthy of placement in the bedroom or kitchen. Catholic Worker, stale tortilla chips, breast pump parts, gin. πŸ’©πŸ’©πŸ’©
2 more...
So I really needed a new bed because my current bed had people- and dog-shaped divots. I FINALLY bought a new bed this morning. But now I have some regrets....
  1. 1.
    I bought what I thought was a high-quality bed but the fabric is STAPLED on the box spring.
  2. 2.
    The dog, accustomed to the smells of the old bed, is now clingy and confused.
    He's sleeping in our groins.
  3. 3.
    Both mattresses came wrapped in tons of plastic and I'm stressed out about that plastic ending up in the ocean.
2 more...
Look out Stanford students! @nicosandi @mikerios313
  1. β€’
    Which sports are your favorite sports for sports watching?
  2. β€’
    Do you get annoyed with people referring to you as "part-fish"?
    Is that even a compliment?
  3. β€’
    Were you also kind of weirded out when Michael Phelps referred to you as a "stud"?
5 more...
  1. β€’
    Someone riding a boosted board
  2. β€’
    Katie Ledecky
    Bonus: Katie Ledecky riding a boosted board
  3. β€’
    You using your own library card to check out a real book from the Stanford library
12 more...
  1. β€’
    Scamper
  2. β€’
    Bop
  3. β€’
    Swish
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I imagine us cruising around town in my parents' 1989 Nissan Sentra ("the Silver Bullet") rocking out to these. Now you can make the mix CD that could have been!
  1. β€’
    "Life Goes On," 2pac
    We would have sung along to the whole thing and felt awkward and unsure about the use of the "n word." We also wouldn't have known what "pouring one out" meant and couldn't have googled it. Frustrating, but we would get through it together.
  2. β€’
    "Nothin' But a Thang," Dr Dre feat. Snoop Dogg
    I would be Dr. Dre and you would be Snoop Dogg. Then, when you came to visit me in college in Madison, we would go to the Karaoke Kid and karaoke the hell out of this. Come to think of it, we should still do that.
  3. β€’
    "Just A Friend," Biz Markie
    You would've been able to take the lead vocals on this one because Biz Markie's voice kind of sounds like he's in puberty.
6 more...
  1. β€’
    The city is going to put in the speed bump at the end of August or beginning of September.
    Mom and I are going to set up lawn chairs with margaritas and watch people fly over it the first week.
  2. β€’
    LaRue cleared out an entire closet for Chris Culhane!
    He gave his old pants to Miles in exchange for mowing the lawn. He also took down the closet doors in the big closet. He says he is going to put a curtain there instead.
  3. β€’
    We got a new printer in Creighton Hall.
    I had to go to a training for it. We learned what "the cloud" is πŸ˜‘.
4 more...