5 reasons my new bed sucks

So I really needed a new bed because my current bed had people- and dog-shaped divots. I FINALLY bought a new bed this morning. But now I have some regrets....
  1. 1.
    I bought what I thought was a high-quality bed but the fabric is STAPLED on the box spring.
  2. 2.
    The dog, accustomed to the smells of the old bed, is now clingy and confused.
    He's sleeping in our groins.
  3. 3.
    Both mattresses came wrapped in tons of plastic and I'm stressed out about that plastic ending up in the ocean.
  4. 4.
    I've been talking about getting this new bed for so long that I'm afraid I've over-hyped it in my head.
    Expectations are high.
  5. 5.
    A new bed is an awkward thing to show off to company.
    "Welcome to our home. We recently got a new bed because our sweat and skin cells rotted through the old one."