How to successfully live in your basement for two months
- 1.Have a baby.
- 2.Recruit your husband and baby to live in the basement with you.
- 3.Craft a snack nest.I recommend a nursing pillow, space heater, and Honey Nut Cheerios held together with baby spit-up.
- 4.Leave your front door unlocked for visitors.Visitors should ONLY be received in the basement. Don't let them trick you into "eating dinner at the table."
- 5.Use weather as an excuse.Any kind of weather will do, as long as you can claim that the baby doesn't like it or will somehow be damaged by it.
- 6.Make TV watching an event.If you host a game night or dinner party, people are going to want that shit upstairs. Therefore, create parties surrounding TV events that you were probably going to be watching anyway. #OscarsSoWhite
- 7.When someone asks you why you don't "live upstairs," pout and say "But I have a BABY."Note: this can also be your excuse for going out to lunch, showing up to meetings late, or purchasing a subscription to Hulu.