How to successfully live in your basement for two months

  1. 1.
    Have a baby.
  2. 2.
    Recruit your husband and baby to live in the basement with you.
  3. 3.
    Craft a snack nest.
    I recommend a nursing pillow, space heater, and Honey Nut Cheerios held together with baby spit-up.
  4. 4.
    Leave your front door unlocked for visitors.
    Visitors should ONLY be received in the basement. Don't let them trick you into "eating dinner at the table."
  5. 5.
    Use weather as an excuse.
    Any kind of weather will do, as long as you can claim that the baby doesn't like it or will somehow be damaged by it.
  6. 6.
    Make TV watching an event.
    If you host a game night or dinner party, people are going to want that shit upstairs. Therefore, create parties surrounding TV events that you were probably going to be watching anyway. #OscarsSoWhite
  7. 7.
    When someone asks you why you don't "live upstairs," pout and say "But I have a BABY."
    Note: this can also be your excuse for going out to lunch, showing up to meetings late, or purchasing a subscription to Hulu.