4 YEARS AGO TONIGHT, AT ABOUT THIS TIME...

  1. My Dad called me crying to say my Mom died.
    I'll never forget the sound of his voice.
  2. I had just drifted off to sleep.
  3. I had been listening to a Brahms concerto for cello and violin.
    I haven't been able to listen to music to help me fall asleep since. Can't listen to the Brahms piece either.
  4. I was sleeping in black workout shorts and a tank top.
    I donated them to charity.
  5. I howled like an animal in disbelief.
    I know I must have woken some of my neighbors. I wonder what they thought.
  6. I had to call my brothers to tell them.
    One started crying immediately. The other couldn't understand what I was saying in disbelief and gave the phone to his wife.
  7. One of my brothers came out to get me and drive me to the hospital.
    I live 20 miles away. Sports talk radio was on in the car.
  8. We had to sit with my mom for 5 hours before someone from the mortuary could come and get her.
    Middle of the night. Holiday weekend.
  9. It was the longest, ugliest night of my life. I remember it in vivid detail.
  10. I run myself ragged on the weekend before the MLK holiday every year in the hopes it will make it possible to go to sleep and not remember.
  11. It never works.