After every award show, I caption screenshots for @vulture. The ones I did for last night's VMAs were my favorite I've ever done. Here is a sample of the 60+ slides. (The rest, especially the long ones, are here:
  1. "Wheee, a slide. Is this what an actual childhood feels like?"
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  2. When you realize you forgot your emotional-support cat and have to get through the night alone, stroking the air.
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  3. "I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it, but I love it." "Can you remind me that we need to pick up paper towels on the way home?"
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  4. When you have to explain intersectionality to a girl rolling on MDMA.
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  5. "The thing about cameras is you shoot videos with them."
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  6. "I'm going to eat a sandwich that's THIS big, y'all. Woo!"
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  7. "Tradition, tradition. Tradition!"
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  8. Is this covered in Between the World and Me?
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  9. Just Miley being Q*bert.
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  10. I've always dreamed of seeing Rita Ora and Emily Ratajkowski dance in front of a facsimile of a Transformer's butthole. Thank you, VMAs.
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  11. When you see in a monitor that you're way taller than your dad and realize you can definitely beat him in one-on-one now.
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  12. Law & Order: Eating Salads Unit.
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