My Favorite Frozen Moments From the Vmas

After every award show, I caption screenshots for @vulture. The ones I did for last night's VMAs were my favorite I've ever done. Here is a sample of the 60+ slides. (The rest, especially the long ones, are here:
  1. "Wheee, a slide. Is this what an actual childhood feels like?"
  2. When you realize you forgot your emotional-support cat and have to get through the night alone, stroking the air.
  3. "I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it, but I love it." "Can you remind me that we need to pick up paper towels on the way home?"
  4. When you have to explain intersectionality to a girl rolling on MDMA.
  5. "The thing about cameras is you shoot videos with them."
  6. "I'm going to eat a sandwich that's THIS big, y'all. Woo!"
  7. "Tradition, tradition. Tradition!"
  8. Is this covered in Between the World and Me?
  9. Just Miley being Q*bert.
  10. I've always dreamed of seeing Rita Ora and Emily Ratajkowski dance in front of a facsimile of a Transformer's butthole. Thank you, VMAs.
  11. When you see in a monitor that you're way taller than your dad and realize you can definitely beat him in one-on-one now.
  12. Law & Order: Eating Salads Unit.