1. β€’
    Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time-- Paul McCartney
    This song has no ounce of holiday spirit to it. It feels phoned-in on behalf of Sir Paul.
  2. β€’
    Baby it's Cold Outside
    The holiday date rape song. Every time I hear it I think of Christopher Walken as The Continental, offering "fine champan-ya"
  3. β€’
    The Holiday Season
    For the line "He'll be coming down the chimney, DOWN!" Why is down used twice? I almost thought "chimney down" was a thing, like the path through the chimney to the fireplace. But it's not. It's redundancy for the purposes of adding an extra beat.
  4. β€’
    Bruce Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
    1. For the intro banter between him and his bandmates. Asking grown men if they've been good, "practicin' real hard...so Santa can bring you a new saxaphone" 2. For the exhaustive refrain of "Santa Claus is comin' to town!" evolving to a form of weepy laughter toward the end of the song, reaching the edges of delerium.
  5. β€’
    I Want a Hippopotamous for Christmas- Gayla Peevey
    Gayla Peevey just sounds so insolent.
  6. β€’
    Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey
    It is self-explanatory when you hear the song.
  7. β€’
    We Need a Little Christmas
    It's so deceptively happy, all "haul out the holly!" But there a few lines explaining why they want to get into the holiday spirit: "For I've grown a little leaner, grown a little colder, grown a little sadder, grown a little older" 😰
  8. β€’
    I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
    Think about it-- the best case scenario is that it's the kid's dad dressed as Santa, and the kid's beliefs are shattered. The worst case scenario is that his mom is kissing Santa Claus. There is no win.
  9. β€’
    Callann Lane's version of "Carol of the Bells"
    We do not need to hear such a frantic version of this song.
  10. β€’
    The Singing Dog version of "Jingle Bells"
    Do I need to explain why? Have you heard it?
    Suggested by Β  @mwbarnhart54
  11. β€’
    "Same Old Lang Syne"
    Guys sees his ex at a supermarket, they get hammered in her car, she doesn't love her husband, the snow turns to rain. It's depressing and it should be banned from the radio!
    Suggested by Β  @mwbarnhart54
  12. β€’
    "Feliz Navidad"
    The last line should be, "This song is getting repetitious so I think I'm gonna stop!"
    Suggested by Β  @mwbarnhart54