23 NAMES OF HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS IN THE DUTCH TRANSLATION OF THE BOOKS, RANKED BY RIDICULOUSNESS

As a kid, I read the Harry Potter books in Dutch, because those were simply the ones my parents bought for us. When I watched the first movie, I was very confused, because many characters have different names in the Dutch books, so I spent quite some time trying to figure out who some characters were. Here's a collection of the weirdest ones.
  1. 23.
    Harry Potter = Harry Potter
    One of the few that didn't get butchered, along with Hagrid and Hedwig. This one is just to show you that not all names are changed (though 99% of them actually are at least slightly altered).
  2. 22.
    Severus Snape = Severus Sneep
    They just went phonetical on this one (that's how we would write it phonetically, that is).
  3. 21.
    Sirius Black = Sirius Zwarts
    "Zwart" is the literal translation of "black," but I do not know where that extra "s" at the end comes from.
  4. 20.
    Draco Malfoy = Draco Malfidus
    I guess it's just a Dutchification. I just made that word up, but it sounds okay.
  5. 19.
    Remus Lupin = Remus Lupos
    I don't really get why they changed this one. Quite unnecessary.
  6. 18.
    Ron Weasley = Ron Wemel
    "Wemel" is a verb, meaning "to swarm."
  7. 17.
    Hermione Granger = Hermelien Griffel
    I suppose Hermelien is the actual Dutch version of Hermione. "Griffel" is actually a fancy word for "pencil."
  8. 16.
    Luna Lovegood = Loena Leeflang
    Phonetic Dutch version of her first name. "Leeflang" means "live long."
  9. 15.
    Gilderoy Lockhart = Gladianus Smalhart
    I have no idea where they got the first name from. "Smalhart" literally means "narrow heart."
  10. 14.
    Minerva McGonagall = Minerva Anderling
    "Anderling" could be translated as "other" or "otherwise," I think. I couldn't find a real definition. One online source says it means "animal." So there is that.
  11. 13.
    Gregory Goyle = Karel Kwast
    ??? "Karel" is the Dutch version of Charles, and "Kwast" means "brush." So...
  12. 12.
    Cornelius Fudge = Cornelis Droebel
    "Cornelis" is the correct Dutch version of this first name. "Droebel" means nothing.
  13. 11.
    Vincent Crabbe = Vincent Korzel
    I had to look it up, but apparently "korzel" means touchy.
  14. 10.
    Sybill Trelawney = Sybilla Zwamdrift
    "Zwamdrift" translated is "fungus drift." So make or that what you will. Also, as it turns out, Google Translate actually translates these names to the English names.
  15. 9.
    Bellatrix Lestrange = Bellatrix van Detta
    Maybe they wanted to make it sound like "vendetta?" Idk.
  16. 8.
    Moaning Myrtle = Jammerende Jenny
    The translation of "Moaning" is literal. I'm assuming they changed her first name for alliteration purposes.
  17. 7.
    Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody = Alastor "Dwaaloog" Dolleman
    "Dwaaloog" is somewhat accurate. The literal translation is "wandering eye." "Dolleman" means crazy man.
  18. 6.
    Albus Dumbledore = Albus Perkamentus
    Not even close to the original. "Perkament" is Dutch for "parchment," and I truly have no clue how they ended up on this one.
  19. 5.
    Sir Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington (Nearly Headless Nick) = Heer Herman van Malkontent tot Maling (Haast Onthoofde Henk)
    The nickname translation is literal (except the first name, which, I assume was changed for alliteration purposes), but I haven't got a single clue where the rest came from. What a mess.
  20. 4.
    Vernon Dursley = Herman Duffeling
    "Duf" means "dull," which means the last name actually means "dull one." So, you know, there's that. Other Dutch first names of the Dursleys: Dudley = Dirk, and Petunia actually kept her name.
  21. 3.
    Peter Pettigrew = Peter Pippeling
    Explanation: ???
  22. 2.
    Cedric Diggory = Carlo Kannewasser
    No idea why they changed the first name. "Kannewasser" actually means "washer of jars," so there is that.
  23. 1.
    Neville Longbottom = Marcel Lubbermans
    By far the worst one. Lubbermans is a ridiculous name that makes no sence. Apparently his whole name was unacceptable.