A FEW THOUGHTS FOR THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADLOCKS SITTING ACROSS FROM ME
There is a white guy with dreads sitting across from me at the library, and he smells horrible. I can't really say anything to him, so I'm expressing my grievances here instead.
- •Please stop.
- •Seriously, stop it.
- •This isn't pleasant for anybody.
- •My god, the smell.
- •It looks disgusting, too.
- •There hasn't been one white person in the history of the world who looked good with dreads. Not one. You are not the first either. Take note.
- •This smell really isn't okay, do you ever wash yourself?
- •Even if it is washed, it never looks clean. It always looks so unhygienic.
- •Again: why?
- •It's cultural appropriation, which is definitely a bad thing in this case (as it is in pretty much every case).
- •Please make it stop.
- •If you're not getting rid of them right this second, at least leave, please. It's hard to focus in this... aroma.
- •Oh lovely, you looked down and showed me all the dandruff you're rocking, too. It just keeps getting better.
- •It's starting to make me physically nauseous now.
- •Ah, you're leaving. Please shave and wash your head. Thank you, it was a pleasure.