A FEW THOUGHTS FOR THE WHITE GUY WITH DREADLOCKS SITTING ACROSS FROM ME

There is a white guy with dreads sitting across from me at the library, and he smells horrible. I can't really say anything to him, so I'm expressing my grievances here instead.
  1. Why?
  2. Please stop.
  3. Seriously, stop it.
  4. This isn't pleasant for anybody.
  5. My god, the smell.
  6. It looks disgusting, too.
  7. There hasn't been one white person in the history of the world who looked good with dreads. Not one. You are not the first either. Take note.
  8. This smell really isn't okay, do you ever wash yourself?
  9. Even if it is washed, it never looks clean. It always looks so unhygienic.
  10. Again: why?
  11. It's cultural appropriation, which is definitely a bad thing in this case (as it is in pretty much every case).
  12. Please make it stop.
  13. If you're not getting rid of them right this second, at least leave, please. It's hard to focus in this... aroma.
  14. Oh lovely, you looked down and showed me all the dandruff you're rocking, too. It just keeps getting better.
  15. It's starting to make me physically nauseous now.
  16. Ew.
  17. Ah, you're leaving. Please shave and wash your head. Thank you, it was a pleasure.