Could this list BE any longer?
  1. When someone really needs to pivot.
  2. When your friend keeps yelling "PIVOT!"
  3. When someone asks how the party is.
  4. When you really need some time for yourself.
  5. When your male friend uses "not all men" as an argument.
  6. When you're fine.
  7. Seriously, you're fine.
  8. When someone says something so stupid...
  9. That you need two pics to properly show how incredulous you are.
  10. When someone asks for your help.
  11. When the sexting is getting a little too good.
  12. When someone did a good job.
  13. When you show off your accomplishments.
  14. When two people in the group chats are being dumb.
  15. When you very casually want to tell your friend that you'd like to date her.
  16. When your friend's story finally seems to be going somewhere.
  17. When your pregnant friend tells you how she gave a kid everything because they were so cute.
  18. When you find out that you're having twins at the last second.
  19. When your significant other hints that they want to have sex, but you're not feeling it.
  20. When you just couldn't help yourself.
  21. When your friend makes a questionable choice.
  22. When your friend keeps making the same bad joke, and you're sick of it.
  23. When you're starting to flirt with someone.
  24. When you really want to kiss a guy, but you don't want to come on too strong.
  25. When you went to a new tanning salon and you came back way too tan.
  26. When your friend went to a new tanning salon and they came back way too tan.
  27. When you get a great surprise.
  28. When it's really the worst thing you've ever heard.
  29. When you're totally okay.
  30. When your friend starts rambling about things you don't understand and you need clarification.
  31. When you need to make it clear that you don't share food.
  32. When a guy has tries to make a terrible point about women's rights.
  33. When you're jealous of your friend's confidence.
  34. When your friend lies about having plans.
  35. When your friend starts talking about obscure self-defense methods.
  36. When your friend starts talking about obscure self-defense methods, and they need to be mocked.
  37. When you're having a terrible day (1/3).
  38. When you're having a terrible day (2/3).
  39. When you're having a terrible day (3/3).
  40. When you're not thinking about much.
  41. When you suddenly realize that your friend may be Santa Claus.
  42. When you get an unsolicited dick pic.
  43. When you need to apologize for acting like a baby.
  44. When your friend apologizes for acting like a baby.
  45. When your paleontologist friend claims that a PhD is just as good as an MD.
  46. When your someone is expressing some antiquated views about social media.
  47. When your friend sends you a food pic and it looks so good.
  48. When you need to make a holiday toast (1/2).
  49. When you need to make a holiday toast (2/2).
  50. When you're here to save Christmas.
  51. When you best friend is getting married before you.
  52. When you're sexting, but staying polite.
  53. When someone teases you like a child.
  54. When you make very bad decisions.
  55. When you lay out your perfect weekend plans.
  56. When someone is being needlessly mean.
  57. When it's actually not bad.
  58. When your friend says something gross.
  59. When you smell a fart.
  60. When you've made your new year's resolutions.
  61. When someone brings up your celebrity crush and you're trying to be cool about it.
  62. When your friend talks smack about your dating life.
  63. When you're not even sorry.
  64. When someone is being a dick.
  65. When your friend rudely orders pizza without you.
  66. When you're not thrilled about turning 30.
  67. When you're having some fun with yourself.
  68. When your friend scared you, but not really.
  69. When you got your friend good.
  70. When you want to mock your friend and be supportive at the same time.
  71. When you have to pretend not to know something.
  72. When someone asks you where you've been.
  73. When someone keeps trying to one-up you.
  74. When you're surprised and dramatic.
  75. When someone has a terrible name.
  76. When you check your child's diaper and find a code brown or worse, a Shitastrophe™
    Suggested by   @BWN_7
  77. When you can't understand why your paste pants aren't working out
    Suggested by   @BWN_7
  78. When your friends and/or family have overstayed their welcome and need to GTFO
    Suggested by   @BWN_7
  79. When you haven't received confirmation on plans.
    Giant poking device.
    Suggested by   @jaidub
  80. When you need to get away from that douchehat guy at the party with your name in tact
    Suggested by   @kate81
  81. When you need something classy to say instead of "let's have sex"
    Suggested by   @kate81