Inspired by @LizDawson. I believe I'm a little late to the party.
  1. I believe that eating egg salad or fish on public transport should be a jailable offense.
  2. I believe there should never be a 'Friends' movie.
  3. I believe that the United States will probably never get a cooler president than Barack Obama.
  4. I believe the NRA is basically a terrorist organization.
    I'm not saying all members are terrorists, but the people who control it, like that Wayne LaPierre guy, are, by blocking any kind of sensible gun control or even research about gun violence. That is pure evil.
  5. I believe that all conspiracy theories were made up by the government to cover up what is really going on.
  6. I believe there is no subject that cannot be joked about.
    There are definitely subjects you have to be very careful with, though. It all depends on intention, timing, the person who makes the joke, and a quality of the joke.
  7. I believe all homophobes are secretly, deep down, probably unbeknownst to themselves, without a doubt, complete fucking assholes.
  8. I believe Hannibal has/had the most beautiful cinematography in television history.
  9. I believe Sleepless in Seattle is an awful movie.
  10. I believe that men who have sex with blow-up dolls are airheads.
    Except for @stevecady and his ex-wife Melanie, of course. That was love.
  11. I believe Trevor Noah is doing a great job as host of The Daily Show.
  12. I also believe that Jessica Williams is the best part of every episode she is in.
  13. I believe orange and chocolate should NEVER be combined.
    A box of chocolates that contains one or more with orange in them is basically a minefield.
  14. I believe that life has no inherent meaning or purpose, and that instead we get to give it meaning and purpose ourselves.
  15. I believe that Woody Allen should be condemned in the same way Bill Cosby is.
  16. I believe that Nathan Fielder is an actual genius.
  17. I believe that islamophobic fearmongers like Donald Trump, Geert Wilders, Marine Le Pen, and Nigel Farage are doing the terrorists' work for them.
  18. I believe that there is no reasonable excuse for any private citizen to own an assault rifle.
  19. I believe there is nobody on earth who can hear Ron Funches' giggle and not feel happiness.
  20. I believe that SamCait is/will be/should be real.
  21. I believe that's plenty.