My way of celebrating the start of The X-Files Revival tonight. Do you think this list is spooky?
  1. When someone who's not an X Files fan asks you what's going on at your place tonight.
  2. When your friend swears he was sure that he had locked the car, but it turns out he hadn't.
  3. When you need an honest assessment of your spookiness.
  4. When your partner asks you to cover for them for the unpteenth time.
  5. When you find something unbelievable.
  6. When you're sick of men ruining everything.
  7. When you need over the top sarcastic air quotes.
  8. When someone uses condescending, sarcastic air quotes against you.
  9. When your sibling texts you about how it's not okay how many racist jokes are being made in the family group chat.
  10. When your friend likes some incredibly bland guy.
  11. When someone says something disturbingly weird.
  12. When your friend says something inaccurate about UFOs.
  13. When you ask your friend if they want to hang out.
  14. When your friend brags about flashing someone for no reason.
  15. When you just started texting with someone new, and you need to see what kind of person you're dealing with.
  16. When a meninist asks you out.
  17. When you need a favor.
  18. When he sends you a dick pic and you're not sure how you feel about it yet.
  19. When someone asks you to describe yourself, and you're not from some place with crazy gun laws.
  20. When you decide that you like it.
  21. When someone asks you why it's so dark in your room.
  22. When your friend asks you what you want for dinner.
  23. When you ask your significant other if they have any condoms.
  24. When your friend says some weird and random shit.
  25. When you agree to go on a shopping spree with your friend.
  26. When twins are ruining your life.
  27. When you're trying to come up with reasons to watch the Oscars this year.
  28. When you need to stop your partner from chasing a ridiculous lead.
  29. When you really do need to follow that ridiculous lead.
  30. When your friend keeps gushing about this new guy they met.
  31. When you're hinting to someone that you want to watch Star Wars with them.
  32. When they still don't get the hint that you want to see Star Wars.
  33. When someone's hating on you, and you couldn't care less.
  34. When someone keeps complaining about how everybody is out to get them.
  35. When you and your friend send each other the exact same message at the exact same time.
  36. When he tells you he's "not being sexist, just honest."
  37. When you're literally screaming.
  38. When someone talks extensively about something you're obsessed with.
  39. When you're soooo excited.
  40. When someone tells you about bugs that can crawl up your nose. (1/4)
  41. When someone tells you about bugs that can crawl up your nose. (2/4)
  42. When someone tells you about bugs that can crawl up your nose. (3/4)
  43. When someone tells you about bugs that can crawl up your nose. (4/4)
  44. When he says he's a brony.
  45. When you don't know what just happened.
  46. When you're having that same problem right now.
  47. When you spot something that looks like fat little white nazi storm trooper.
  48. When they prove your point.
  49. When some guy you need something from keeps avoiding the issue.
  50. When you've overstepped, and you don't really know what to say.
  51. When your friend got laid and tells you about it in a little too much detail.
  52. When you don't care.
  53. When you're flirting and you're trying a little too hard to be cool.
  54. When your spooky friend invites you for yet another séance.
  55. When someone asks you what you think of Ted Cruz.
  56. When you get caught off guard.
  57. When your significant other agrees that you should spend a hot night together.
  58. When a corpse is wearing the same out fit as you.
  59. When someone's being a prick.
  60. When he asks you to comfort him, and you're not sure how.
  61. When your mom asks you where you are.
  62. When your uncle texts you Donald Trump campaign promises he agrees with.
  63. When your friend thinks they're telling you something shocking, but you're underwhelmed.
  64. When your friend says their super religious grandparents are coming over.
  65. When your friend is being gross.