How to make Leanne Pedante's signature fish gruel

A staple item on this gal's dinner menu since 2011.
  1. 1.
    Live-in-chef / love-of-your-life leaves country for 3 months
    It's crucial that you are living alone when making fish gruel, preferably in a rental, not an owned home
  2. 2.
    Purchase frozen white fish from your grocery store but not the expensive ones
    make sure to look at nothing but price per oz when buying.
  3. 3.
    Tun on stove to whatever temp you want, pour in oil, then let it heat up. Walk away and try to figure out what the hell is happening in Game of Thrones
  4. 4.
    Give up and accept that all the old white kings in GOT look exactly the same and that you don't care enough to really get into it. Be genuinely shocked when you realize hot oil is popping and spraying all over the kitchen. Throw fish into pan.
  5. 5.
    Walk away again because cooking is boring. Read your email then google the symptoms of a disease you don't have but might get one day.
  6. 6.
    Be surprised again when you realize fish is on stove. Grab whatever non-paper material is closest and scrape it violently off the bottom of the pan
  7. 7.
    Take a scrambled egg approach as you cook it past the point where you think it might make you sick
  8. 8.
    Dump onto plate, cover in salt, eat while standing up in front of your laptop
  9. 9.