MY GUIDE TO WHICH COLOURS TO USE ON YOUR OUTLOOK CALENDAR

At work I use as many colours as possible on my Outlook calendar, mainly to waste time. Each denotes a different type of meeting or task. Here's how I use them.
  1. Red
    A high priority 'must do' task requires a deep red, burning yet powerfully fragile, like a dying sun.
  2. Amber
    For time blocked out for some #planning, use a vibrant, celestial amber, as if Saturn himself has joined you in your thoughts.
  3. Blue
    A compulsory event (such as a management announcement, staff gathering or something similarly awful) requires a striking blue - sombre, unknowable, like a forgotten ocean that calls to you during a fitful sleep.
  4. Green
    A phone call. A phone call that will undoubtedly make your day worse. Use a green. An insidious, menacing green, like the anger of a thousand serpents.
  5. Gold
    LUNCHTIME. Like a burst of sunlight, an energy beam directed at your very soul from the Gods themselves, slot in those precious few minutes with a shimmering gold, perhaps from the pastel end of the spectrum.
  6. Purple
    Purple makes it really hard to read stuff so use this colour for SECRET MEETINGS, or those devoted to setting out #strategic #objectives.
  7. Grey
    For personal appraisal meetings with your manager - grey. Always grey. Serious, like a mountain. Immovable, like fog. Inevitable, like a gravestone. Grey.
  8. Black
    And what of the dreaded 'quick chat' put in by a colleague to 'tap your brains on something'? Use black. Everlasting, all-consuming black.