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  1. Scruffy Blonde Dude Who's Into X-treme Sports
    It's hard to tell if his cheeks are red due to a perpetually sunburn from volcano boarding and catching some waves or from alcohol, but his cheeks are guaranteed red. Another dead giveaway is bicep tattoos.
  2. Scruffy Blonde Dude Who Meditates
    Most distinguishable from other Scruffy Blonde Dudes due to the tattoos on his forearms, not biceps. Will walk into a room and instantly spot the guitar. Probably will talk to you about the differences between the weed here and where he's from, but will be too scared to buy some here and actually smoke it.
  3. French Canadian Who's Into Partying
    Can sometimes overlap with Scruffy Blonde Dude Who's Into X-treme Sports, but not always. When found in a pack, these dudes can finish a bottle of rum in under 10 minutes, no chasers needed.
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A few months ago, I made a list entitled 'MY BIGGEST FEARS' (https://li.st/l/0CG0ldM9vD3wVAGGWJkr8I) since then, I traveled alone in Nicaragua and have realized that while there, I low key confronted them all and came out the other side alive.
  1. Peeing my pants in public
    Happened within the first four days. I accidentally ended up at a hostel beach party, got WASTED, peed everywhere (by the bar, on the bus, in line for the bathroom, in the pool only a little to test whether they really had a urine detection system (they didn't)). It was solidly 70% a joke, but at least 30% just because I had to pee.
  2. Choking on my own hair in my sleep
    Happened my first night. I had arrived in Nicaragua with a cold in tow and tried to stifle my snores into my arm so they didn't wake up the two other strangers sleeping in the room, but instead I woke up coughing with a mouthful of my own hair in the middle of the night.
  3. Solitary confinement
    I definitely didn't face the kind of solitary confinement my original list was talkin bout, but while traveling alone I had to practice being by myself (with no tv or Internet for distraction, either) when I don't want to be, sometimes for pretty long periods of time. I had to get used to intentionally putting myself out there and taking myself out of solitary confinement, but also sometimes just being okay with being alone.
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*dj khaled voice* they don't want you to win
  1. Lack of debates
    There have been only six DNC (Democratic National Committee) sanctioned debates this election cycle (compared to 2004's 15 and 2008's 25) , three of which took place on the weekend (one of these being the Saturday before Christmas), basically guaranteeing super low viewership. This shit isn't a coincidence, y'all; things are being said at these debates that those with power right now don't want people to hear.
  2. Superdelegate voting
    Superdelegates are basically those who the DNC deems Important Democratic Figures (basically, congresspeople, governors, and a few other people). They count for 712 of the total 4,763 delegates (a candidate needs at least 2,382 to win), and can vote for whoever they want, regardless of the popular vote. In New Hampshire, even though Sanders won with 60% of the popular vote (Clinton had 38%), he's leaving with 15 delegates and Clinton has a guaranteed 14, 6 of which are from superdelegates.
  3. No one will release the Iowa popular vote raw totals
    With a Clinton win with 49.8% of the vote, as compared to Sanders's 49.6%, Sanders's campaign is calling for a release of the raw vote totals, but Iowa Democrats are refusing to release the information, even though this was done in 2008. Honestly, it was so close that these numbers would probably not make a huge difference either way, but in terms of DNC shadiness????? It big time makes the list.
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Guilty pleasures I'm not at all guilty about
  1. Harry Styles
    The bullet that inspired this list. You guys. I love Harry Styles with my whole entire heart in the kind of way where I have a poster of his face and the words "Harry Stiles" that I hang right over my trash can.
  2. ABC Family
    Or, more accurately, getting way too emotional about ABC Family shows.
  3. Boxed wine & ginger ale
    Cheap, delicious, thirst quenching, will make your vomit neon: it's everything I look for in a way to get Fucked Up
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I'm traveling alone in Nicaragua. I got here yesterday and brought a cold with me. This is every single thought I have had.
  1. The air is so beautiful and this hostel is so chill and I'm so gd excited to go out there and meet some people and eat some fruit!!!!!!
  2. I've been walking for an hour and I've already drank all my water and sweat it all out
  3. My head hurts :((((
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Thanks @rsilverman for this one
  1. Peeing in my pants in public
    (Let me make myself perfectly clear. I don't mean dribble and I don't mean while exercising. I mean full on pee while wearing jeans and hanging out with some acquaintances.) While this would be an embarrassing thing, it would also be just so cold and wet and uncomfortable, I wouldn't even be able to concentrate on making small talk with said acquaintances.
  2. Choking on my own hair in my sleep
    I'm not going to lie to you, this is a distinct possibility.
  3. Solitary confinement
    This summer I read Into the Wild and then spent many hours researching what happens to brains when they don't interact with other humans for extended periods of time. Let me save you the trouble and tell you right now - it's not pretty.
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  1. They do look rly ding dang small
  2. I think your top lip might be covering part of them
  3. In conclusion: small but not suspiciously small
  4. Maybe your friends' teeth have just been suspiciously large all along