PEOPLE YOU WILL MEET IN A CENTRAL AMERICAN HOSTEL
- •Scruffy Blonde Dude Who's Into X-treme SportsIt's hard to tell if his cheeks are red due to a perpetually sunburn from volcano boarding and catching some waves or from alcohol, but his cheeks are guaranteed red. Another dead giveaway is bicep tattoos.
- •Scruffy Blonde Dude Who MeditatesMost distinguishable from other Scruffy Blonde Dudes due to the tattoos on his forearms, not biceps. Will walk into a room and instantly spot the guitar. Probably will talk to you about the differences between the weed here and where he's from, but will be too scared to buy some here and actually smoke it.
- •French Canadian Who's Into PartyingCan sometimes overlap with Scruffy Blonde Dude Who's Into X-treme Sports, but not always. When found in a pack, these dudes can finish a bottle of rum in under 10 minutes, no chasers needed.
- •Middle Aged Woman Who Works on a Weed Farm in the Northwest USIt's the off season for marijuana farming, so she's hit the road. During the day you can find her on street corners selling personally knitted water-bottle-carrier-purse combos.
- •Girl Who Was the Wackiest One in Her SororityShe just quit her job impulsively and is really ~finding herself~ among all these Scruffy Blonde French Canadians. If found alone, she is cooler than you would expect, but unfortunately is usually found in a pack of six or more.
- •Cool ChileansChain smoking, speaking in super fast Spanish with slang you haven't even close to heard before, and probably listening to techno remixes of Selena Gomez's more low key hits, they are truly a staple.
- •German Who Is Way More Prepared than Everyone ElseI know it's a stereotype, but this shit holds up. They've got hiking sandals, hiking boots, headlamps, earplugs, an outlet converter for every country, and enough clothes for their entire trip without ever seeming to do laundry. You name it, they've got it. I have honestly no idea how they fit everything into their backpack.
- •Middle Aged Man Who Will Cook You DinnerEvery single hostel's got one. He's probably a trained chef who just couldn't take the bureaucracy of his field for one second longer. May or may not be thinking about opening his own hostel with a really great book exchange.