Why I don't think I can do relationships.
not too sure if these are related to my AVPD (Avoidant personality disorder)
- •The thought alone of having someone around me most of the time makes me irritable
- •I get emotionally suffocated, too easilyEven with friends, I have a rule, I can't see a friend more than 3 times a week even if I want to. And I don't do daily contact, at least not on purpose or else I can't breathe. But I do love my friends.
- •I get apologetically clingy, too easily
- •I feel inferior, too easily
- •I feel disconnected
- •I sometimes just wanna turn my phone off and go somewhere no one would find me at. For a bit.
- •I like to hear about what's upsetting them, but I can't tell them what's upsetting me, because I'll feel clingy and stupidI know that's wrong, but my brain cripples me.
- •That's generally why I stop talking to people once I realize that I like them. Or I'll stay in contact but never let them know
- •I give them space and expect mine.This is the only good thing, but I need it to be well structured and agreed upon. Else I'll think that they don't like me anymore.
- •I won't be understood, or accepted for my weirdness, or the weird things I like.
- •I get jealousIn a way that I will feel like they're likely to leave me for anyone else, but I won't say anything or fight for them, I'll just leave slowly, because there's nothing else I know how to do
- •I will take their comments to heart, and I will get nightmares.Nightmares where they are disappointed in me or diss me in public. Yep I know how stupid this must sound, but it's like waking up with a panic attack and dreading your day.
- •I notice the change in their behavior and assume I did something wrong.This is not bad, if you have better self-confidence. In my case this is bad.
- •I invest a lot more attention in them, than they do in me
- •Tell me, does this NOT SEEM COMPLICATED AND DEMANDING??