Thoughts During an Early Morning Meeting

If the meeting is before I've had enough caffeine, I will have sassy/sarcastic thoughts
  1. Why do I need to be in this meeting again?
  2. Why is this woman talking?
  3. Dear aforementioned woman talking, please stop simultaneously tooting your own horn and being a whistle blower.
    See what I did there with musical instruments and metaphors?
  4. Did I remember to turn my straightener off before I left this morning?
  5. Do I look like I'm paying close enough attention?
    Add an occasional nod of agreement and smile
  6. Who uses red and green together on a PowerPoint presentation?
  7. I wonder when this ends so I can get to my real work.
  8. I should make a list about my thoughts during an early morning meeting.
    *writes list on notepad* so meta
  9. I really need to work on my posture.
  10. "Data analysis to calculate percentage of manipulation that is actionable."
    Uhh, what?
  11. I'm so hungry. Did I bring my lunch.
  12. Why is this woman giving us all more work??
    Please stop sucking up to the VP.
  13. I wish I could get more coffee now.
  14. Next time I'm totally bringing my laptop.
  15. Is doodling appropriate? No VP is watching.
    Nods enthusiastically.
  16. Damn, 15 min to my next meeting. WILL I HAVE TIME FOR MORE COFFEE.
  17. Nope, no questions, please release us.
  18. AHHH 7 min of freedom until my next meeting.