One of us is single. The other one hears a lot about it.
  1. The dude whose profile pic is him lying in a coffin.
    Sexy? (I don't believe he was a vampire.)
  2. The guy whose profile pic is OBVIOUSLY HIS WEDDING PHOTO.
    You are terrible at cheating, sir. She's RIGHT THERE.
  3. More guns than you might imagine. This doesn't seem like a great way to convince a lady that you are not a murderer.
    The guy in his undies lying next to an arsenal on his bed is a very specific taste.
  4. Celebrities whose age on Tinder does not match their age on IMDb
    You have to keep that shit tight.
  5. Celebrities whose profile claim they're "not looking for dates," but "swipe right and tempt me," (and "I don't know why my age is wrong! I blame Facebook!")
    He is married.
  6. That guy who was pretending he was Bronson Pinchot from 2004
    Who thinks, "my fake profile pic should be a Google Images low res pic of Balki?"
  7. Several guys I've already dated unsuccessfully.
  8. A truly surprising number of men dressed like pirates.
  9. The man who specified, "DREAM STEALERS NOT WELCOME."
    So I was obviously out.
  10. That guy who was doing naked yoga.
  11. The vast number of men in Los Angeles whose entire profile is a link to their IMDb page
  12. The guy with the words "foot long" tattooed on his clavicle.
  13. Hey! It's Chris Kattan! Good luck out there, Chris. It's rough. May the odds be ever in your favor.
  14. A profile that simply said "you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll climax"
    Suggested by @jazzdcurlyfries
  15. Dudes in the drivers seat of their cars.
    I hope you are at least at the stoplight!