Things Not to Buy When You're In Escrow

You've just signed a contract to buy a home and the bank is doing a thorough check on your bank accounts and credit cards. Now is not the best time to buy some of these things.
  1. A Harley Davidson motorcycle with pink tassels on the handlebars.
    Sweet hog man.
  2. A life-sized cut out of Matt Damon in 'The Martian.'
    Based on the true story.
  3. An investment stake in your third cousin's app start-up company that delivers pencil sharpeners to artists on demand.
    The company that gets to the point.
  4. Two jet skis. Because no one is happy with just one jet ski.
    Wheeeeeeeeeee!
  5. Home stereo speakers sold by a guy in his van in the parking lot of a Best Buy.
    But listen to that bass.
  6. A private instructor to teach you how to play the ukulele in a "hipster sort of way."
    It's like a guitar only more ironic.
  7. A year's subscription to a horse stable just in case you buy your daughter a pony.
    If only you had a daughter.
  8. Tiger Woods to be your caddy for a day.
    A Cinderella story. At Augusta. He's got 220 to the hole, and he's thinking 9-iron.
  9. An annual pass to Disney World. When you live in Utah.
    From one fairytale land to another.
  10. One of every Beanie Baby ever made.
    Because those things are bound to make a come back.