JOBS I'VE HAD THAT PEOPLE PROLLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT/WOULDN'T ASSUME

Requested by @dave, who I have the great pleasure of calling a colleague, however long ago that may have been. The theme here is 'get by.'
  1. Line cook
    Mis en place, bitch.
  2. Personal assistant for a deaf and blind woman
    Listening meant I spelled into her hand. She hated how slowly I finger-spelled everything. She would slap my hand when I took too long.
  3. Phone sex operator
    Craigslist, first year in Manhattan, lasted one day
  4. Figure drawing model
    I learned how to wake up sleeping limbs and to never look at the drawings.
  5. House cleaner
    At an old farm house that was perpetually filthy. Music option was an old double vinyl Jorge Ben Jor album. I still sweat when I hear Fio Maravilha.
  6. Camp counselor
  7. Extended service in kids' media
    People assume I love kids and always cry out with frenzied glee at how terrific a mom I will be. No, I'm just tenacious at work; leave my reproduction out of it.