MOMENTS BETWEEN ME, MY VET, AND THE DOG

While Bowie is generally a healthy dog, there have been a few notable exchanges among us
  1. Watch that slipped kneecap
    Dogs have kneecaps? How do you know it is slipped? Which knee? Do back legs have knees?
  2. Sometimes their corneas detach, you'll want to watch out for that
    Ummm
  3. We'll give him Dramamine for that
    So carsick
  4. We'll give him Xanax for that
    Still so carsick
  5. We'll give him a pill that shuts down part of his nervous system for that
    An attempt to shut off the piece of his brain that controls balance and car sickness
  6. Did we try Xanax already?
    Yeah.
  7. You have to brush his teeth
    Okay, sure. What do I do about his hemorrhaging gums?
  8. We have to pull nine teeth
    I should have taken his oral care more seriously; I would have preferred 8 or 10, aesthetically, but we went with 9
  9. You have to brush his remaining teeth
    I thought she was joking
  10. Yes they do tend to shed a lot when they're nervous
    While the dog is standing on a pile of his own hair, resembling a soft white snow on an early winter's evening
  11. If it sticks out like that for a long time you need to apply a lube to it, like KY or whatever you have at home
    Not his tongue. I love the dog, I really do, but that was a bridge too far. It took about a year or two but the problem resolved itself.