EMAIL SUBJECT LINES FROM MY CRAZY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR

@Shapiro and I live below a middle-aged man who has a robust collection of Viking paraphernalia, recently had his name legally changed due to paranoia, and exclusively writes emails with all caps subject lines. Here are some of my favorites:
  1. NEW HARPSICHORD
  2. PORCH FURNITURE
  3. CHIMING CLOCK BOTHERING YOU?
  4. DRYER VENT IS UNDER FOUR FEET OF SNOW
  5. MOTHS (AGAIN)
  6. STOLEN PACKAGES
  7. THE GRILL ON YOUR PORCH IS ILLEGAL
  8. DOOR SLAMMING, ETC.
  9. USING A PRINTER LATE NIGHT/EARLY AM?
  10. HOLIDAY DECORATIONS
  11. HI GABE