A Thorough Analysis of My Meal at Ludacris' Short-lived Pan-asain Resturant

@LevNovak asked, so I am answering. I can't wait to find out where this conversation is going.
  1. I ate at the now-closed location of Straits in the Westfield Shopping Centre one evening last year, before going to a movie at the nearby AMC Theatre with 2 friends.
    Yup. "Centre" and "theatre" in one sentence.
  2. The first thing I noticed was literally Ludacris' face.
    I went to the big communal sink in the non-gender-divided bathroom to wash my hands and a newspaper article about him featuring this photo was framed and hanging next to the mirror.
  3. We sat down and I enthusiastically reported to my friends that "this place is owned by Ludacris!"
    They somehow already knew this.
  4. It was very dark, but seemed pretty nicely decorated. Like a fancy PF Changs, but not necessarily in a bad way.
  5. We started with drinks.
    They were heavy on the sweet liqueur and tropical juices. I had a spicy margarita with chili salt on the rim. It was a little too sweet for my taste, but my friends liked theirs.
  6. On to appetizers.
    We shared roti prata, which is an Indian flatbread, with a curry dip. It was good, but you could tell but they were definitely catering toward American tastes: the bread was slathered in butter and the curry dip was super sweet. We also shared wings, that were glazed with some sort of sticky, sugary sauce. There's a lot of sweetness in Southeast Asian cooking, and that is fine, but it has to be balanced. This was not balanced.
  7. We shared something called "Straits Risotto"
    This pissed me off a little bit because I make risotto, and this was not risotto. It was basically laksa, which is a Malaysian curried soup dish with noodles, except they used arborio rice in place of the noodles. It was pretty good though.
  8. There was some eggplant.
    It had some good flavors going on--spicy chilies, garlic--but again, too sticky sweet.
  9. We got some sort of Asian-inspired slaw.
    It can't have been that spectacular because I don't remember anything about it.
  10. Overall, it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great.
    The location we ate at has since closed and I probably won't go out of my way to find another. That said, if I were in an airport and there were a Straits, I could probably be convinced to eat a quick bite there.