Come at me.
  1. Potato french fries are not that great.
    Show me your best french fry, and I'll show you a mediocre sweet potato fry that is miles better.
  2. Bacon is fine but not amazing.
    Look, there's no doubt that it tastes good, but it overpowers a lot of dishes, and it does not deserve all the T-shirts, Buzzfeed articles, and memes.
  3. Your burger doesn't need a fried egg on it.
    Eggs are good and burgers are good, but together it's just too much.
  4. The fruity, sour style of roasting coffee beans that is trendy right now makes for undrinkable results.
    Give me a dark roast any day, not this yogurt-y bullshit.
  5. Egg salad is a delicious, under-appreciated sandwich filling and you should eat it more often.
    Make it simple (onions, celery, mayonnaise, salt, pepper, dill), eat it when it's super fresh, and have it plain or on toast.
  6. Chia pudding is healthy and will get you a lot of likes on Instagram but it is in no way good-tasting.
    It's fine if you eat it, just stop lying to the world and yourself.
  7. Juice cleanses are sketchy.
    Salad is more filling, has less sugar, and has fiber. Just eat a salad.
  8. Swiss cheese tastes like feet.
    It does.
  9. American cheese tastes like plastic.
    It's a very popular thing right now for fancy chefs to declare their love for Kraft singles and assert that they're the only thing that should go on a cheeseburger, but I think they are DISGUSTING!