Easiest Home Cooked Meal to Trick a Guy Into Falling in Love With You

For @MirandaBerman. I call this Third Date Chicken. @evan can attest to its effectiveness. Serve w/ sweet potatoes and salad. Works especially well on Jewish guys who associate it w/ Shabbat memories.
  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
  2. Rinse a whole 4-5 pound roasting chicken under cool running water and pat dry, using paper towels. .
  3. Place chicken in a large (at least 9"x13") casserole pan.
  4. Whisk together the 1/2 cup olive oil, 12 chopped garlic, cloves, 2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary, zest of one lemon, and 2 teaspoons each of salt and pepper.
    You can also leave the garlic cloves whole and blend it all together in a food processor or blender to make a paste.
  5. Pour a bit of the oil-garlic mixture into the cupped palm of your hand and rub it over the skin of the chicken on both sides.
  6. Gently slide your hands between the skin and the flesh of the chicken and rub some of the oil mixture beneath the skin. Pour a bit more oil into your hands and rub the cavity of the chicken with it. Continue until the whole chicken is covered with the garlic-oil mixture.
  7. Thinly slice up the lemon you zested and place a few slices of between the skin and the flesh of the chicken. Stuff the rest of the slices into the cavity.
  8. Arrange chicken breast-side-up in the pan and use kitchen twine or a couple of toothpicks to attach the legs together.
  9. Cover the pan tightly with aluminum foil.
  10. Bake, covered, for 30 minutes.
  11. Remove the foil and bake, uncovered, for another 25-30 minutes, or until the skin is golden-brown and the juices run clear (stab a knife into the thigh to check this).
  12. If you want to make a pan gravy, pour the pan juices (there should be plenty) into a small pot over high and bring to a light boil. Sprinkle in 1-2 tbsp of flour and whisk constantly (breaking up the lumps) until a thick, creamy gravy forms.
    Add a little chicken broth if needed, to thin it out. Serve alongside the chicken.
  13. Present to the object of your affection and prepare to be celebrated for being the goddess you are.