Served straight-up, in an artisanal mason jar.
  1. Bacon everything
    Bacon is so salty and smoky, that it has a tendency to overpower whatever it's added to. Good food is about balance, and unless it's used sparingly, bacon often messes that up.
  2. Salted caramel
    Can I tell you a secret? Good caramel should always contain salt, because salt is a flavor enhancer--it makes foods taste even more like themselves. This really isn't all that different. Moreover, while delicious, salted caramel has been so overdone in recent years, and at this point it's kind of a menu buzzword. I'm ready for something new.
  3. Foams
    As far as I'm concerned, the only appropriate place for consumable foam is on top of a cappuccino.
  4. Pickles
    I love pickles, but unless they are somehow more interesting than what I buy or make at home (like pickled eggs), I lose interest. A $14 plate of the result of cucumbers, vinegar, salt, and time is seriously annoying to me.
  5. Overly-doctored mac and cheese
    When you start adding other stuff to mac & cheese, it becomes a casserole. When done sparingly, some additions can be okay: some caramelized onions here, a shaved truffle there, a cascade of breadcrumbs over the top. But mac & cheese should be all about tender pasta and creamy cheese sauce. When you start messing around with hefty, strongly-flavored add-ins like broccoli, mushrooms, and bacon, the result is a baked pasta dish, and that's not what I came for.
  6. "Farm eggs"
    As opposed to what? Spaceship eggs? Even mass-produced eggs come from farms.
  7. Sriracha everything
    Don't get me wrong, I love the stuff. But there are so many other phenomenal spicy Asian chili sauces, that it seems lazy and unimaginative when chefs slather it on everything.
  8. Macarons
    The official dessert of baby showers.