Forms of Payment I Do Not Accept

It's amazing how some people try to pay (or, more to the point, not pay) writers.
  1. Future paid opportunities
    My landlord doesn't accept future money, so I can't either.
  2. Products
    I am sure your canned tuna is delicious, but it's still not enough to compensate me for developing recipes to promote it.
  3. IOU
    If you give me an IOU, I will NWFYA (Never Work For You Again).
  4. Gratitude
    Nice to have, but I can't pay my MasterCard bill with it.
  5. Exposure
    To quote @aminatou, you can literally die from exposure.
  6. Pizza and beer
    Suggested by   @erichutchinson
  7. Nothing
    Suggested by   @seantimberlake
  8. "C'mon, tons of people would love to do this free"
    Suggested by   @LevNovak