How Married Life is Different From Seriously Dating Life
Thanks for asking, @MandyKN! I'm still new at it (we're about 1.5 months in), but there are already some real differences I am feeling.
- •When we talk about the future, it's when, not if.I mean, it essentially was before too, but now it's official. *When* we want to have kids. *When* we want to buy a new car. *When* we're going to move to a bigger place. We're starting to actually plan the rest of our lives now, rather than just talking about it.
- •Our focus is on what is good for us as a couple more than ever before.When weighing decisions, we've always considered 3 factors: Is something good for me? Is it good for him? Is it good for us as a couple? Ideally it's all 3. Of course, there will always be times when something is better for one person than the other, and that's okay. But now more than before, it feels important that our decisions positively impact us as a couple as much as possible.
- •It's easier to get over jealous feelings.I used to struggle with yucky feelings about the existence of my husband's exes. I had an unfair and very silly secret desire to be the only woman in his entire history (I mean, not *really* but you get it). I worked hard to overcome those feelings, and it got a lot better. But now it's like, hey, it's cool. He married *me*.
- •The surreal awesomeness of calling him "my husband" and having him call me "my wife."
- •We're done planning a wedding.No more stressing over guest lists and table placements. No more awkwardly explaining to our loved ones that we love their kids but we aren't inviting kids to the wedding. No more worrying about whether the elderly people attending will be comfortable. Just lots of thank-you notes and a lot more free evenings and weekends.
- •We have a lot more nice kitchen stuff.And lovely bedding. And awesome towels. I never realized how great high-quality towels are.