Lunch With an Old Flame
I had lunch with my high school boyfriend today. The last time we saw each other was 13 years ago, when we ended things on not-great terms.
- •I was incredibly nervous heading out to lunch. Definitely more nervous than I have been for any date, pitch, or big meeting in the last few years. I'm not sure of what exactly I was so afraid, but my heart jumped around in my chest, and my knees literally wobbled as I walked to the restaurant.
- •He was already there when I arrived. I was struck by how very much he looked exactly the way he did when he was a teenager, just a bit broader now, and with a little bit less hair on his head, and a little bit more on his face. At the same time, I was struck by how very much he looked like an adult.
- •As soon as we sat down I started to relax. We may have been out of touch for over a decade, but I immediately remembered why he was someone I loved talking to.
- •It was genuinely interesting to hear everything that's happened in his life since we parted ways. As he spoke, I felt a strange mixture of sentimental fondness and safe distance. It was a nice place to be.
- •He told me he had googled me, so he already knew about most of the goings-on of my professional life. It felt very 2015.
- •We were each other's first loves, and we were children at the time. All the drama of our teenage relationship no longer matters. I've always known this to be true but it wasn't until today that I actually believed it.
- •Over tacos on Valencia Street, I silently let go of the last of my bad feelings about that ancient heartbreak.
- •Time can be a wonderful thing.